Top 10 clues that writing may not be your forte:
10. Your mother says it stinks.
9. Your crit partners all change their e-mail addresses.
8. You think Webster’s is a funny little kid on a bad 80's sitcom.
7. Grisham sues for putting a link to his website on your blog.
6. Your laser printer groans.
5. Editors ask what grade you’re in.
4. Your trash company adds a surcharge to your bill for the rejection slips.
3. People kept handing you their dirty dinner dishes at your last writer’s conference.
2. Your postal carrier tells you that your return address labels lack “narrative drive.”
And the #1 clue that writing may not be your forte:
1. All your protagonists commit suicide before the end of the prologue.
15 comments:
ROFLOL! Brutal stuff there! Are you writing from experience or are you really that funny?
You're in my crit group, right? :D
Funny stuff, Ron.
Mike
I see the main problem here. Your person hasn't learned not to waste those valuable rejection slips. If nothing else, he can paper the walls of his office with them.
Hilarious! I'm adding you to my blogroll right now!
Ron-
This is hysterical! If Strange will allow it, I'm linking my blog to yours...
Janny
LOL! Love #1. Too funny, dude!
Funny. Thanks.
Do we have to identify with ten out of ten to be labeled as writer-challenged?
My fav is #2...oh, and #3, and #9.
None apply to me, of course not. Nope. None.
Sounds like you have a great crit group...one day I hope to find one in my Christmas stocking.
Your rejection letters suggeest you join the US Navy.
Your rejection letters suggest you take up a hobby.
Your rejection letters suggest you learn a trade like writing rejection letters.
Rob Walker - author of Psi Blue, City for Ransom, and FleshWar
An oh yeah...after writing as long as I have, all of you will have #s 1 through 10 happen at some point in your checkered careers....One rejection siip I got was from a horror mag., and it was just a postcard with no words...a "visual" rejection...pictured was a werewolf type creature with a bifurcated tail scratching madly in an attempt to get up a tree all in a grim setting. The creature's talons had ripped the bark from the tree, and its snout was pointed to a full moon, its gaping mouth obviously baying. I slept on it and finally realized what they were trying to tell me...that I was "barking up the wrong tree."
Hope to see some of yous in Madison at BoucherCon...
Robert W. Walker, author Werewolf Grief (FictionWise e-books), Fleshwar (Amazon.com\shorts) City for Ransom (Avon)
Good thing for me my rejections come via email.
dude so that's why they keep changing their email addys!!!!
WAY too funny! That's the best laugh I've had all day, and that's saying a lot. I hope you're not making your list from personal experience. You just heard these things through the grapevine, right?
Saturday morning. Coffee. Friday Top 10. Not good for my keyboard. Funny stuff.
Post a Comment