Top 10 ways to get noticed by an editor...
10. Enclose a self addressed stamped rejection letter.
9. Sit outside his or her office building holding a sign that says “will write for Starbucks.”
8. Enclose a photo of yourself lunching with Oprah Winfrey.
7. TP his or her house with your last twelve manuscripts.
6. Be washing his/her car when they step outside to leave for work (do not attempt this in conjuction with #7).
5. Buy a Starbuck’s franchise and name a special blend after him/her.
4. Run for President and demand as many recounts as necessary to get your face on camera every day.
3. Give birth at a writer’s conference (obviously, women have the advantage in this whole publishing game).
2. Pretend to be a fire inspector and deliver your manuscript one citation at a time.
And the number one way to get noticed by an editor….
1. Marry one.*
* The ensuing ugly divorce will give you great fodder for a blockbuster “tell all,” which competing editors will stand in line to contract!