Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The Trout Tribune--Wednesday, August 30, Final Edition

Paid parking in Trout? You laugh, so do I, but it appears to be a reality. Thomas Grudge, owner of approximately one half acre of parking lot behind downtown Trout has cordoned off his portion of the earth and declared he’s turning it into a paid parking facility. The fact that Trout is a town of roughly 5,000 residents doesn’t seem to deter his thinking.

Rest well, though, fellow Troutonians! The Pastor of Trout United Methodist Church, which sits next to the area in question, has announced that his parking lot will be open to the public. “We only need it on Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings,” says the Reverend Jack McMann, “so no one needs to pay for parking.” He did point out, however, that an offering box will be mounted to one of the lampposts at the edge of the parking lot. “Anyone who wished to show their appreciation for the free parking can make a love offering,” says McMann.

Love parking. What next?

In other news, the Trout public school board has published the bus schedule for next week’s kick-off of the new school year. The Sycamore Road route has been detoured around old Bud Lester’s home to avoid anymore stray bullet incidents. Lester’s eyes not being what they used to be, anything moving looks like a deer and the legal season never meant much to him or his family.

Claudia Knight has expanded her fly-tying business to take up the display case at the River Bend Diner. She’s a little late in the season but I hear tell the fly earrings are a big hit with the ladies. I may just get my ears pierced so that I’ve always got my emergency tackle on hand.

That’s all the news I feel like printing.

Buck Rubb, Editor in Chief


Mark said...

I feel like I'm in an alternate universe.

Heather said...

Dear editor,
Everyone in this here U.S. of A. has the right to be a busyness owner, and that's just what I mean to be. Them big city fokes have them paid parkin and they make them a killin. I aim to do the same. And if you park in my paid parkin, I will protect your car from all the robbers and deer hunters and government foke and throw in a free tackle for yer fishin fer free. I apreshiate yer busyness.
Much obliged,
Thomas Grudge
Owner of Paid Parkin U.S. of A.

Ron Estrada said...

Welcome to Trout, Heather. You'll fit right in.

Anonymous said...

I'm sending this article to the Leader. Signed: You-know-who-with-the-Leader-owner-connection.