Top 10 Reasons to be a United Methodist…
10. You don’t know what a steering committee is, but you’ve always felt called to be part of one.
9. You can go from potluck to potluck and never actually prepare your own meals.
8. You’re thinking about opening your own UM franchise.
7. If you don’t like the preacher, just give it a few weeks.
6. When you die, your name will be memorialized on a clock, pew, or cooking utensil.
5. You got a C minus in “Tongues I & II.”
4. If somebody annoys you, you can just go to the United Methodist church across the street.
3. If you pretend you’re not sure about joining, someone will bribe you with cake.
2. You have a choice between the “Low Guilt” and “No Guilt” services.
And the number 1 reason to be a United Methodist...
1. Even though outrageous ideas are taken seriously, by the time they get through committee they’ll be forgotten.
5 comments:
AMEN, brother! From one cradle Methodist to another! LOL
LOL. You made me laugh. This coming from a Baptist. ;)
5 Signs You May Be A United Methodist
1. As you get older, you can't read the hymnal, but you can see cobwebs in the corners of the sanctuary
2. You don't know what apastolic and universal means, but you can pronounce and spell it
3. You think "Onward Christian Soldiers" is the most repulsive, boring hymn ever written, but sing it anyway
4. Confuse sex with dancing, but rarely the other way around
5. Think drinking alcohol is a sin, but you do it anyway, because it gives you something to feel guilty about while you're watching other people dance.
I'm not Methodist but I love stuff like this. My mind is mulling over what a Baptist version might look like.
Oh this is your best one yet. You nailed it, buddy. LOL! Add me to that cradle.
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