Top 10 things to do while everyone else is at the ACFW Conference…
10. Use the conference fee money to buy Coldstone Creamery ice cream for the neighborhood.
9. E-mail them and say you’re an acquisitions editor and need to see their complete manuscript before Sunday.
8. Have anchovy and onion pizzas delivered to their hotel rooms.
7. Call their spouses and ask why they never arrived at the conference.
6. Call the Dallas PD and tell them someone’s plotting a murder at the Marriott (the half-truths are the best ones).
5. Write like heck and fill up their e-mailboxes with chapters for critiquing.
4. Call the Dallas chapter of Girl Scouts and tell them they’ve got some easy sales at the Marriott.
3. Call Al Gore and request he speak, at great length, at the conference on the issue of global warming and how he was robbed of the presidency in 2000.
2. Arrange for a local aspiring acid rock band to provide the evening entertainment.
And the number one thing to do while everyone else is at the ACFW Conference...
1. Send a dozen black roses to all the editor’s rooms and sign the cards “Publish me or else—Love, Robin.”
Anyone have the number to a cheap florist in Dallas?