It just kind of sits there, doesn't it? One more year until 40, which doesn't bother most males of the species. We solve our crisis with a simple Harley Davidson or fling with a much younger woman. Since I'm broke and I'm really quite happy with my wife (not to mention the whole Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery thing), I'll settle for some ice cream and new computer toys.
Which I'm playing with now.
I got a really awesome wireless mouse for my laptop and some writing software--Writer's DreamKit. I know, alot of people hated it, alot of people loved it. I'll give it a try. My family was really pressing me for ideas yesterday. At 39, I've got just about everything I want, with the exception of a published novel. But people want to buy you SOMETHING, so I had to do a quick search of software, and that's what I came up with.
Anyway, back to 39. It's an awkward age. Not as awkward as 14, but awkward in a "your place in the grand scheme of things" sort of way. To teenagers, I'm old. To the elders in my church, I'm still a kid. I'm too young to sue my company for age discrimination if I get fired. I'm too old to join the military. I'm too young to go around offering free advice. I'm too old to believe all the free advice I receive.
I always thought that, by the time you hit 40, you had it all figured out. I know squat. And I don't think one more year is going to instill me with a massive amount of wisdom.
But, at 39, I'm still young to the average person. No car dealer is going to "see me coming." I have enough money to buy gifts for those I love and maintain my writing habits. I know that most of what I read in the press is someone's opinion, and usually a liberal one. I can respect and understand if someone's opinion differs from mine and not get angry. I can stand up for what I believe. I'm not afraid to tell my hunting buddies that I'm leaving camp two days early because I miss my wife.
39 is good. It's a place to stop and look back, consider where I've been and decide if I like where I'm going. It's not too late to change course yet. Most of the areas of my life--financial, marriage, family, spiritual--are solid as a rock. That's more than most people can say, I'm afraid. My career is the one thing I'd like to change, and I'm working on that, so I can't complain.
Who knows what 40 will bring. Maybe, by then, I'll have a new job, a book contract, an agent. Truth be told, if I'm in exactly the same place one year from now that I'm in today, I'm still doing pretty good.
I've been given abundant life. I will always seek more but be thankful for what I've been given.