Top 10 Hints to get you and your eating disorder through the Holidays…
10. Get off the internet and get back to the mall! Full contact sports are a great way to burn calories.
9. A serving of turkey and mashed potatoes contains the same number of calories as a piece of fudge, so skip the turkey and mashed potatoes.
8. Apples are fruit. Wrapping them in pie crust doesn’t change that.
7. With the onset of global warming you’ll be sweating off those calories in no time!
6. Chocolate production makes up 23% of the U.S. economy. Or don’t you care?
5. Tell your Weight Watchers leader that “I’m sorry, this just isn’t working out. I’m going to have to let you go.” Practice in front of the mirror.
4. You’ll be wearing a heavy coat for the next three months anyway.
3. Make sure you add Ronco’s “Home Lipo-Suck” to your wish list (call 1-800-UMOOTOO).
2. Skinny people are never jolly.
And the number one hint to get you and your eating disorder through the Holidays…
1. By January, you won’t be able to afford food. Better bulk up now.