In honor of my 16th Wedding Anniversary, I give you my Top 10 Secrets to a Lasting Marriage...
10. Never give your wife a brake light as a gift to prove you know what they look like.
9. Never respond honestly to the question “What are you thinking about?” (Just because it’s about her, don’t assume you’re sharing in the same fantasy).
8. Always take the time to say “It’s my fault.”
7. If you go to Vegas without her, call every 15 minutes. Use the phone camera to prove your whereabouts and state of dress.
6. Women find no humor in embarrassing bodily functions (10 year old boys do, though, so make sure you have one around).
5. She knows you’re not really shopping for her birthday gift in the Victoria’s Secret catalog.
4. Never shop for her birthday gift in the bathroom.
3. Never introduce her as "your first wife."
2. Never refer to your bed as “Ol’ Shakey.”
And the number one secret to a lasting marriage...
1. Never write a blog. She’ll find it. She’ll hurt you.
Happy Anniversary, sweetie.