The Fix is In

Senator Harry Reid said yesterday that the Republicans want to block everything they do. I certainly hope so. Maybe, Senator, if everything the Democrats tried to do wasn’t a disaster to the economy, security, and overall well-being of this nation, the Republicans might be easier to get along with.

The Senator was speaking, of course, about the bill now on the floor of the Senate that would essentially give the U.S. Government sweeping control over financial institutions. This, of course, is not a step toward socialism. It’s a giant leap.

But here’s how the Dems work. The economic downturn of 2008 was primarily brought about because of a bill first signed by Jimmy Carter and given teeth by Bill Clinton. This is fairly common knowledge now, but the Dems have done a good job of denial. In a nutshell, Fannie May and Freddie Mac, two entities that have no purpose but to suck money from the economy, were “strongly encouraged” to make more home loans available to low-income individuals. Because bankers are not in the business to lose money—the greedy bastards—this went against common business sense. But we’re not talking about common sense, we’re talking about the U.S. Government.

So, as was predicted by a couple thousand economists, George Bush, and Mrs. Tracy’s Oak Hill Elementary third grade class, the housing market boomed, then busted. The point here is this: the government was the cause of the economic meltdown. Please repeat that as many times as necessary. Lay down if you need to. It hurts…I know.

And now we have this bill. President Obama, Harry, and Nancy all proclaim that it will “protect the taxpayers from any future bank failures.” Oh how sweet. Let’s see. The government caused the economic downturn, the government took over a trillion dollars of our money and threw it at the banks, and now they’re proposing a bill to protect us against…what? Them?

Don’t be silly, Ron. You know better. What the Bailout Bill does is authorize the federal government to decide which banks live and which die. What lovely power. In fact, here’s a thought, and I’m sure no Dem ever considered this. Since there is one party rule in our government right now, I bet that these banks will make darn sure they stay on the Dems good side. The campaign coffers will be flowing with bank money this fall. I mean, if it’s one lesson us peons learned from the health care bill, it’s that if you don’t have enough allies, you simply buy them (we call it a Blanching).

Now why do you suppose the Republicans would do everything possible to block a bill that would almost guarantee Democrat rule for the next fifty years? How rude of them. Oh, let’s not forget the fact that the government simply has no place in business. If I were a bank that was too big to fail, I might consider making myself small to avoid government attention. I’d be the Bank of Casablanca. Keep a low profile. No gambling going on here. No risk. No loans. Which is probably okay, since the government has sopped up all the available cash anyway, making it darn near impossible for small businesses and private citizens to get credit.

Let’s see. Obama, Harry, and Nancy now have control over health care. They have control over two of our three auto companies. They want control over the banks. And they’ve already tied up a huge chunk of available cash.

But it’s not socialism. Nossir. It’s protecting the taxpayer. Kind of like being in a great big bear hug. From a great big bear. A great big hungry bear.

The Republicans need to block harder. Don’t be the party of No. Be the party of OH HELL NO. Get the job done boys. The Cavalry’s coming in November.